Welcome To the Cork Airport Information Website
WELCOME TO CORRUPT IRELAND!
The Cork Airport Authority have decided to waste millions of the taxpayers money enforcing planning which is none of their business. The new chief executives in Cork and Dublin are more gangsters who have no qualms on wasting money while Cork airport loses its shirt. There are four car parks at Cork Airport, one the Airport Authority's own. It charges 10 euro per day. The other three change 4 euro to 5 euro a day. What does out new Airport Manager do? He applies to the High Court to wipe out the other three. The DAA are bloody gangsters who will try and wipe out anyone who stands in their way. More on this coming!
The Minister Simon Coveney naturally is afraid to tell the truth but it is about time he did. It is understood that a lot of horses simply disappeared lately around Larry Goodman's plant! We wonder where they went? Could they have suffered an untimely death? We will keep you posted.
CORK AIRPORT TO SPEND UP TO ONE MILLION EURO - WHICH THEY DO NOT HAVE.
Octobert 29, 2011. Cork Airport Board have applied for planning permission to spend up to one million euro on a totally unecessary reorganisation of the forecourt which includes removing the convenient bus and taxi services to a remote location.
This is an absolute waste of public money and there is no justification for it. The fat cats are in charge again and the hell with the public. Spending one million when you are losing twenty milliona year is not very bright but then who said the Cork Airport Board were bright? Sad!
NEW RYANAIR APPROACH TO CABIN SERVICE
October 27, 2011. In an effort to be more customer friendly, Ryanair have adopted a much more relaxed approach to cabin announcements and it really seems to work as the passengers seem to enjoy the new style. The following samples have been taken from recent cabin announcements under the new approach. We think you will enjoy them.
On a Ryanair flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, �People, people, we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!�
On another flight with a very �senior� flight attendant crew, the pilot said, �Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.�
On landing, the stewardess said, �Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.�
�There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.�
�Thank you for flying Ryanair. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.�
Weather at our destination is 20 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Ryanair.
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Dublin Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Canaries, a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
From a Ryanair employee: " Welcome aboard Ryanair 902 to London Stansted. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Ryanair Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
Heard on Ryanair 901 just after a very hard landing in Cork : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
Overheard on a Ryanair flight into Cork , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline�. In light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, �Did we land, or were we shot down?"
After a real crusher of a landing in Farranfore , the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Ryanair.
A plane was taking off from Dublin Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 9847, non-stop from Dublin to Cork , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger then yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."
HOW CHRISTOPH MUELLER IS DESTROYING AER LINGUS - NO. 3.
February 27, 2011. Aer Lingus have paid out the sum of � 25.3 million at Christmas. Mueller signed off on this on his own initative and without obtaining shareholder approval as he was required to. He says it was "an acceleration of payments under a profit sharing scheme". Is the man mad?
Aer Lingus is broke, losing its shirt, being run into the ground and he is "accelerating illegal payments". Something is seriously wrong when this plus the � 32.5 million lost in No. 2 below is paid out causing a loss of � 57.8 million EXTRA for the year. No explanations. No nothing.
What is more amazing is that nobody in the board has questioned these payments. Obviously having been bought to be on the board, they stay bought. Mueller and his board got no legal advice, in fact, getting no advice at all. David Bregg was a prime supporter and he is totally in a conflict of interest. The whole debacle is totally incredible. The board literally have stolen the shareholders funds and nobody cares and nobody does anything. As for their auditors Price Waterhouse Cooper they have been involved in world wide fraud, so what's new? Price Waterhouse Cooper are guilty of gross negligence.
The correct thing to do is now to fire Colm Barrington, Christoph Mueller and the auditors. Don't hold your breath!